Broken and Burning
by TheOnlyPotato
Summary: These four were a team. Everyone expected them to come out alive and with each other. But they didn't expect to come out broken, burning and oh so very mismatched. And now that they are... well, they may just mend each other.
1. Goddesses & Monsters

**A/N: The first installment of the Broken and Burning series**

**Godesses & Monsters**

She was a goddess. A goddess of beauty and darkness and mystery. A goddess that turned the heads of more than a hundred men and women when she stepped through the door. She was a goddess that loved fiercely and fought just as rough. She was a goddess that he could not have, a goddess that he was forced to stay away from. She was a goddess who stayed up in the late hours of the night, sobbing her sorrows away so she could put up a good fight the next morning. She was a goddess the burned with the fire of a million coals.

He was a monster. A monster of hate and ugly and secrets. A monster that fell flat on his ass and watched kids – kids, kids, _why kids_ – die every year because _fuck_ what can he do? He was monster that had forgotten how to love, a monster that no longer fought. He was a monster that she did not know how to fix, a monster that would never turn into a god. He was a monster who stayed up in the late hours of the night drinking his sorrows away so he could it again the next morning. He was a monster that had long since cooled his embers, long since forgotten to burn.

When she comes to him in the dead of the night with her brown curls tossed haphazardly into a bun and her eyes wild, puffy and bloodshot he knows. Oh _god_, he _knows_. So he pours her a drink and let's her forget, forget to be the Mockingjay, forget to be the Girl on Fire, forget to be Katniss. He lets her be someone else as she slurs and stumbles and shatters and sobs. He lets her forget as she breaks in front of him. He pushes, she pushes, and they break together.

When she finds him with his wrists slit and an empty bottle of pills next to him, she knows and _oh god, no why, why would you do this to_ _me_? She can't breathe as she pumps his stomach contents out of his mouth – curse him, and his damned lack of gag reflex – and onto his own chest. His eyes shoot open and he looks at her with _why, why, why, why can't I die_? She slaps him and kisses him and tells him he's broken, and he knows he's broken and he sobs. She holds him and tells him what he needs to hear, and she tries not to worry about the hopeless look on his face. She pulls, he pulls, and they break together.

"You should go," he whispers one night. She's half-sprawled over his chest, watching his geese fly south for the winter. She's smiling and grinning and they're lying on the fallen leaves of autumn, his hands behind his head and her hands tracing the familiar scars that lay beneath his shirt.

"Why?" She asks, barely fazed. They'd had this conversation a thousand and one times before. He wanted her to go – _go_ _to _who_, Haymitch? who do I have?_ – before he hurt her and she wanted to stay – _why, Katniss? why am I so _special – so she wouldn't lose her mind alone.

"I broke you," he replies, but neither of them move. He knows the conversation is useless, he knows that she's made a nest in his house, in his heart, in his soul and even if he did really want her to leave she couldn't. She wouldn't, because he's sawed his way through something she had chained and locked up after her sister died.

"We broke together," she shrugs, shifting so she's straddling his lap. He tells her not to do that, time and time and time again because _fuck Katniss I'm a man and I have needs._ She always does it anyway, never listening because _damnit, Haymitch, I'm not a girl anymore and I'm sure as hell not breakable._

"Don't do that," he says again, just for extra measure. She mocks him under her breath and remains seated in his lap. "Katniss I-" But she's too quick. She knows him too well and it seems as if they're too coordinated together.

"-owe me an apology? No, you don't. Don't you fucking dare apologize for anything you did because everything you did… mended me. You pieced me back together and taped it and it may not hold but it's enough… you're enough. And I'm okay. And I love you." He groans at that one, because oh god he doesn't want those words. Those words lead to hurt and despair and broken whispers in the dead of night to _run, run Iris until your feet are blistered and bleeding._

"I can't love," he says slowly, gauging her reaction. Another shrug. He knows a piece of her dies – a piece of them always die until they can't anymore and _damnit Haymitch I'm not dead_ – and a piece of him dies with her – a piece of him always dies until they leave and_ fuck, Effie I'm trying_ – and he's scared of her response.

"I don't need you to," A breath of relief, from him of course. She twists her mouth into some sort of grin – because to be honest, her smiles would never be the same – and he shakes his head. "I just need you to be here with me."

"I… I'm a mess. I can't… I can't clean up what I've destroyed, Katniss. I'm… I'm a bloody mess."

"So am I. Effie will have a fit, no?" Effie. It was odd thinking about Effie. It had ended up so mix-matched that it left his head hurting. It was no longer Effie and _Haymitch_. It was Effie and _Peeta_. It was no longer _Katniss_ and Peeta. It was Katniss and _Haymitch_. That was scary, a bit. Effie and Peeta knew each other… Effie and Peeta were good, pure. They deserved each other, not the broken shards they'd left behind in District 12 to settle with the coal dust.

"Sweetheart-"

"Haymitch. Shut up and kiss me." So he does. He kisses her. And it's fucking fairytale. Out of all the things that could have gone right, he winds up with a girl half his age that he's not supposed to have and their first conscious kiss is magical. Not kisses to bring each other back from the nightmares, not broken half-assed kisses because Haymitch can't hold back and he needs to cool down. It's everything they're not. Sweet. Peaceful. Synchronized. _Whole._

There'll be anger, sadness, tears in the dead of night, disappointment and _fucking hell _will there be chaos. But there'll interludes of happiness. Things like Haymitch's offhanded glass of water or Katniss' night without the terrors that'll bring corny smiles and crooked laughter.

He may be a monster, and she may be a goddess, but in the end they burned from the same ember.

**A/N: Excuse the awfulness, sorry .-. So I have writer's block (yeah, I know) so review with what you want to see next.**


	2. Gods & Demons

**A/N: The second installment to the Broken and Burning series.**

**Gods & Demons**

He was a god. A god of fire and burns and hatred. A god that faded to the shadows to let the one he thought he loved shine. A god that knew how to love but couldn't, a god that understood how to fight but wouldn't. He was god that she was forced to watch from afar, forced to admire with silent adoration. He was a god that woke at dawn and fought his memories until dusk, where he could drink and scream and be able to do it all again the next day. He was a god that burned with the fire of a million souls.

She was a demon. A demon of phony and pretty and lies. A demon that stood by and watched him destroy himself with unsaid apologies because one slip up and the entire rebellion is over. She was a demon that could not feel love, a demon that didn't know how to fight. She was demon that he couldn't get close to, a demon he wouldn't allow to burn with him. She was a demon that smiled all day and then stayed up into the wee hours of the night just thinking why, why, why him? She was a demon that had never been burned, but wanted to know how it felt.

When he comes to her in the middle of the day with a crooked smile that doesn't reach his eyes and a soft, sad expression, she understands. Of _course_ she understands. Did she not have the same fight with Haymitch only days ago? She stands and smiles and pulls him into a tight hug. She lets him laugh and breathe and ignore the constant ringing of his cell phone because _goddamnit_ _Katniss, take a hint_. She kisses him and tells him that everything is alright. That they're alright. She lets him smile and forget the phone. She mends, he mends, and they fix each other.

When he finds her in the middle of the floor, a horrified look on her face and a scatter of familiar white sticks strewn over the floor, he frowns and kneels next to her and let's her cry. He can't seem to process the _'it's not yours'_ coming from her lips, or the horrified cries of anguish escaping her throat either. She looks at him with _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Peeta, I'm so sorry_. He kisses her and hugs her and tell her she's okay, and she knows she's not okay and she sobs. He holds her and tells her that everything will be alright, let's her hear what she needs to hear and tries not to worry about the baby growing inside of her. He heals, she heals, and they fix each other.

"She's beautiful," he rasps, that beautiful day when the cries pierce the surgical room and his child is bought into the world. The nurses pass him the baby, and he gasps. He's not exactly lying, seeing as the child inherited her mother's beautiful looks. She looks at the two of them and sighs gently, her lips curling into a perfect smile. She doesn't say anything about the word _father_; she doesn't want to ruin the moment.

"She's lucky," she breathes instead. "To have you here." He places the bundle in her arms and she stares at the small slits wear slivers of gray shine through. Mentally, she screams. _Blue eyes, why couldn't you have had blue eyes?_

"Oh Effie," he replies, tucking sweaty tendrils behind her ear. The nurses come to retrieve the baby – Portia Mellark, respectively – and Effie can hardly contain the emotions that flow freely from her. She has what she's always wanted. A husband, a child… happiness.

"Oh Peeta," she says, wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head on his shoulder. "I understand if you don't want to stay."

"Why would I leave? She is just as much my daughter as she is his. If not, more, considering I was there during all of your pregnancy and her birth. I was there to soothe you when you found out you were pregnant and I was there when your water broke. That baby is mine, biological or not. I would never leave you, not for any reason, Effie. I love you, and I love Portia. You two are my everything, and I wouldn't abandon that for the world."

"Peeta-" But she doesn't have time to rebut his words because suddenly they're kissing and everything is perfect. Everything is just as she feels is should be, despite the swap in spouses on everyone's part. When he pulls away and is forced to leave, she wonders about the waiting room, where she knows Katniss is sitting snuggly under Haymitch's arm, awaiting the news of the birth. It's odd, thinking of Haymitch and her sharing a bed and then suddenly not and then suddenly Haymitch being replaced with Peeta. But it's a warm strange, a strange that feels right. Perfect. Right. Whole.

There'll be frustration and night of pain and broken, forgotten memories. But there'll be tendrils of happiness. There'll be Portia's first steps or Peeta's passing episode. There'll Portia's first word or Effie's night without the terrors.

She may be a goddess, and he may be a demon, but in the end they broke from the same glass.

**A/N: Okay so I was able to crank this out, yay! Sorry, sorry, moving on.**


	3. Family

**I thought of this while watching one of those cheesey LMN movies. It was about a divorced couple who had each remarried and had kids with their new spouse, but had a daughter with each other. The different thing is they at the end of the movie they realized they still loved each other but that's obviously not going to happen. Anywho, here it goes.**

* * *

><p><strong>Family<strong>

It was heard down the halls, out the back door and into the backyard, where he was tending to the geese absentmindedly. At first, it sounded like screams and he was absolutely terrified for her. He didn't seem to be able to run fast enough, scrambling to get into the house. But as the sound grew louder and closer, he was able to slow down. Laughter. Katniss Everdeen-Abernathy was laughing.

Breathing a sigh of relief, he makes his way into the bedroom where he had heard her chortles. When he turns the corner into their room, he is almost surprised to see Katniss red-faced, clutching at her sides in laughter. She's sitting at their little desk, the face-to-face chat device hooked up and broadcasting Johanna's disgusted face on their wall.

"Glad to see you're okay, Princess," he sighs, lifting her from her seat and sitting down. She just claims the spot in his lap – still laughing, mind you – and he slinks his arms around her midsection, looking at her fondly. He hadn't seen Katniss laugh this hard since… since never, really.

"What's so funny?"

"Johanna was just telling me the adventures of Portia and Finn… the kids put ice in her underwear and… oh god. They pranked her so well."

"Why is that funny?" Haymitch asks, quirking his eyebrow at Johanna. In the background of the chat he could see Portia and Finnick in their respective corners, obviously put into time out by Johanna. "Tell my little girl I'm proud, by the way."

"I will not. And I don't know why birdbrain here thinks it's so funny. It's not. It's gross and evil and… I'm going to murder the little buggers."

"Please, have your way. Maybe Effie'll shut up about 'Portia's gracelessness' and her 'scowling abilities'. I can't help it the kid doesn't like dresses, hell maybe the dresses are too outrageous for her little mind to comprehend," he chuckles. Portia turns around at the sound of her father's voice and Johanna glares pointedly at the blonde who had turned from her corner.

"What do you want, kid?" Johanna snaps. There is the muffled reply and large gray eyes before Johanna rolls her own eyes and beckons her over. "Your little girl wants to say 'hey'." Katniss moves from Haymitch's lap so he can get a good view of his little girl and goes downstairs for something to drink.

Portia's blonde hair is pulled tightly into two perfect pigtails – Effie's doing, no doubt – and a pair of square-framed glasses placed on her nose. She smiles and waves her fingers at her father, and he smiles and waves back.

"Hi daddy! I miss you!"

"I miss you too, ladybug. Are you being good for Mommy and Peeta?" At the mention of her District Four parents – she called Effie and Peeta her District Four parents, and Haymitch and Katniss were the Twelve parents – Portia shakes her head and her pigtails bob.

"I can't do it no more! Mommy won't let me play with the boys at school or wrestle with Finnick! She puts my pigtails too tight and I always have to sit with my legs criss-cross applesauce. Can I come visit Twelve?"

"I dunno… you have to ask Katniss to see if it's okay. And you have to check with Mommy and Peeta too. But I say alright. I'm sure Auntie Jo and Grandma Everdeen can use a break, no?"

"Yay! Thanks daddy!"

"Why are we thanking daddy?" Katniss asks, returning with glasses of water. "What did daddy do?"

"Portia wants to come visit us here in Twelve. I said she has to ask all four of her parents before I can send for her."

"I don't mind. I love having Portia visit," Katniss says with a smile. Haymitch grins at her before turning back to the small holographic screen.

"Hear that, ladybug? Sweetheart here said you can come visit! Just check with Mommy and Peeta okay? I don't want them upset with you."

"Okay, I'll go ask them right now! I love you daddy!"

"I love you too, ladybug. Have a good day and be good for everyone."

"Alright daddy, bye! Bye Katniss, I love you!"

"Love you too, honey." The screen clicks off after that, without another word from Johanna or Portia. Haymitch turns to Katniss and lifts her, her giggles emanating through their large room.

"Haymitch Abernathy put me down this instant!" He tosses her on the bed and crawls over her, pressing hot kisses to her mouth and collar bone.

"I don't know what about you being so motherly gets me all hot and bothered," he sighs, bringing her mouth back to his with forcefulness. When he pulls away they are swollen and red, and she looks out of breath.

"Oh now you've done it, Abernathy."

**- Two Weeks Later**

Haymitch and Katniss arrive in Four not long after to pick up and escort the young girl back to their home District for the next two months. Usually these trips and their length were decided by the young child herself. Sometimes Effie became too overbearing and she would go stay with Haymitch for a few weeks, but when she got sick of hearing Katniss and Haymitch's screams at night every night, she would go back to her mother.

But Portia had been staying at the Trinket-Mellark residence for a total of a year now, face chats and phone calls being the majority of their interaction. The only reason why he had waited so long to pick her up was because she had started school that year and he didn't want to interfere. But it was summer now, and she could come and stay.

When they arrive the house, the loud wails of a baby pierce through the atmosphere. Oh right. Rye Mellark, the new baby.

"Haymitch! Katniss! I'll go get Portia, have a seat," Effie says, smiling broadly. She does look tired, but she's never looked happier as well. "You're awfully late, I didn't think you would be here. Portia, honey, your daddy is here!"

There is a loud gasp from upstairs and a few heavy thumps before there is his daughter's heavy weight in his arms. Arms wrap tightly around his neck and he breathes in the sweet scent of her honey and vanilla shampoo.

"Hey ladybug!" He says, holding her writhing body. He glances down at her outfit, made of tattered jeans and a plaid shirt.

"Daddy! I didn't think you were going to come!"

"Yeah, well, I had to go visit Auntie Annie and Johanna first so sorry. But I'm here now, are you ready?"

"Mhm!"

"She certainly is not," Effie snaps, holding up a dress and shoes. "She's been cleaning her room all day in those clothes; she will wear only her dress and flats."

"She's going to spend the entire summer climbing trees and chasing geese anyways, I don't see why she needs dresses."

"She's a… oh fine, whatever. Okay, Portia go say goodbye to Peeta and then you and your daddy can go." Portia nods and jumps from her father's arms, rushing to go find Peeta so she could hurry and go to District 12.

Effie smiles after her, but when she's out of sight, the atmosphere changes to awkward.

"So… how's the baby?" Katniss offers.

"He's great," Effie grins, welcoming the small talk. "He's perfectly healthy and everything. We named him after Peeta's brother, even though it's tradition where I'm from to not follow a namesake. No matter, he's a sweetheart, like his father. He's never too fussy… oh, he's a darling."

"I'm sure he'll break all the pretty girls hearts one day," Haymitch says, cracking a grin. He wouldn't let Katniss or Effie hear it, but he did still care for the ex-Capitolite quite a bit. She was, after all the mother of his child and his first one true love. She was important to him, maybe not as a lover anymore but certainly as something. To see her happy lifted a weight from his shoulders that he didn't know was there.

"Yes, I suppose. That's just what worries me." As she says the words, Portia comes bounding out of the study with a large, rainbow-colored, stuffed unicorn. Haymitch raises his eyebrow but says nothing more, welcoming his daughter back into his arms.

"Did you tell Peeta bye?" Katniss asks. Portia bobs her head, toying with the mane on her unicorn. A very neon blue mane, Haymitch notes. He really hoped all of her clothes weren't as bright.

"You tell him you love him?" Effie adds mindlessly. Portia nods her head enthusiastically, wriggling in Haymitch's arms. He knew she was eager to go.

"Well I guess we can go then," Haymitch smiles. Katniss sees her opportunity and is already halfway out the door, calling back a 'race you to the station' to Portia. The young blonde, not one to be outdone, quickly bolts from her father's arm and out the door after her step-mother, her giggles still heard even after she passes the Victors Village gates.

"I'll see you in two months," Haymitch nods. Effie agrees before enveloping him in a hug. When she pulls away, tears are brimming in her eyes.

"It's good to see you happy, Haymitch. It suits you."

"You too, princess," he says, winking. Effie sees him to the door but doesn't go further than that, seeing as she has to stay and help Peeta look after the baby. Haymitch has to hurry and run to catch up to Katniss and Portia, so he gives a rushed goodbye. Still, he spares one last glance at Effie as he jogs away and can't help but feel as if she's still part of his family. His very large, very loving family.


End file.
